Just to add to the above, I felt very guilty when my Dad was dying for not hanging out with him more. He didn't ever flat out attack me for it, but he would look wounded or put on an "it's fine, I didn't need you anyway" act when I kept my visits brief. But the thing was, he would always drink during these visits! So hanging out with him was horrendous--watching him getting drunk when his body was shutting down because of his drinking was gut-wrenching! So looking back, I can see now that I did the best I could in bad circumstances that he had created for himself. In a very real way, his death was the consequence of his choice to drink. I was in graduate school at the time, and I almost let the pain of his death derail my education. I'm so glad I didn't, because I would be so much angrier now. Besides being angry at him for f&*ing up my childhood with his drinking (which I am), I would also have ended up blaming him for ruining my career. But really, it was my choice and my responsibility to take care of myself and make my schooling a priority, even if it meant keeping my visits to him short. Anyway, Spalding, I won't beat around the bush: your mother might drink herself to death eventually. That is her choice to make, and you can't control it. But you can control whether or not you are willing to sacrifice your mental health and your education.