Originally Posted by
alphaomega 
I'm still in shock.
I desperately need a place to unload my grief. Someone who knows my history. And can help me process this SOBER. My greatest fear (my mother dying) is happening. Presently and in my face. There is no escaping this reality and it is more than an I can honestly bear.
I thought I was doing the right thing by advocating for myself.
I returned her call. She let it go to voicemail . How I remained so calm is a mystery to me.
I explained my situation. My sobriety and I let her know that I was heartsick at her approach.
And as far as HER being "frustrated" ??!?!? Well let me just give that a big, fat, GIVE ME A FLAKING BREAK. She's a THERAPIST for gods sake. Do your job. Damn it.
I'm not sure I am capable of processing this situation right now. I'm not going to AA (right now). I have tried it in the past, it triggered me. But I am open to it in the near future. I just don't want that. At the present it is a NO. I have tried it. Multiple times. I don't care for it. And with a 5% success rate, well.....
I thought a therapists job was to meet their clients where they are ?
Now my blood is boiling and I have to reserve my energy for tomorrow at the hospital, which based upon what I have read from the tests she will be facing, will be hell on earth.
Thanks everyone for the insight. I'm truly in gratitude.
Alpha, your angst is palatable. Your frustration saddens me. The situation between you and your therapist is in my opinion untenable for you. I wish it wasn't so, but there it is, for me anyways, is how I see you describing what has transpired.
You know, having been myself both client and counselor in the addiction recovery scene, you present to me as a person who likely isn't the easiest of clients. I also base my opinion on our own relationship here at SR. We have had our differences, and yet, we have moved forward learning to appreciate each other even more as we thereafter looked past our differences.
I don't know all that has gone on between you and your past therapist. Nonetheless, her reply to your recent request for a consultation is evidence enough for me as a therapist she is unable to continue with you. As well, leaving a voicemail detailing her demanding advisements be followed (or else is implied) is another red flag indicating she no longer has a clearly resolved therapeutic relationship with you. It presents to me anyways she has drawn a line in the sand which describes your alcoholism as needing to be treated separately from whatever therapy she might offer. As a therapist, she has every right to practice in such a way. I don't agree with her, knowing you as I do, and I don't share her understanding of you and your alcoholism / addiction challenges.
The job of a therapist, good or bad, has already been well described in this thread.
I'll add my thoughts too. Being as therapists at the end of a day are human too, and so a lot of latitude exists on what makes one therapist "good" and another "bad" for different clients. Its really not important either way what my own opinion is or isn't with regards to your therapist's professionalism. Much more important is your own opinion on your relationship with your therapist.
Since you're the client, and you pay for a service, your opinion on the relationship is *more valuable* than is the therapist's opinion on what she deems to be required from you for her to go forward. (If you were declared incompetent, then not so much of course.) Importantly, there are many therapists available for you to consider. There is only one of you though, and so its obvious to me you have final say on the working quality of the relationship between you and any therapist. Your opinion on your own well-being is first-hand, while all other opinions are derived. This position can be overplayed of course, but in this case anyways I don't see you as being false to yourself so as to appease your therapist being a smart move. Obviously you have stated AA seems false to you for whatever reasons. So be it. It's not for everybody. And it doesn't have to be either.
I suggest you would do better to seek a more workable therapy with a different therapist. Yes, there is something to be said to work things out with your present therapist. However, you don't pay her to work things out. You pay her for her expertise, and in your case as her client, she seems unable to provide what you have clearly asked her to provide. For me, there are other therapists who could manage to successfully work with you without having such similar demands which require "doing" AA.
I'm mindful of your urgent responsibilities with your mother. I'm sorry for how so many challenges seem to come up all in a moment. Your mother, your husband, your children, your employees, and so on...
And of course, yourself. You know, you have every good reason to believe you are very capable of seeing your way through all this, my friend. I believe in YOU (((Alpha)))
