Welcome back Jim!!
For me it had to become all or nothing, part ways with alcohol on a permanent basis, accept that I can't moderate, or have just one, it had stopped working for me.
Such a life changing decision, shouldn't have to come with justifications, millions of people don't drink for religious reasons in this world or many choose to be teetotal, make the decision and make it happen, you don't need to explain anything to anyone, it's your life at the end of the day!!
You can do this!!
