I think you and I are a lot alike when it comes to the "A Word". Especially when I've been called it before. You reason with your brain to figure out what you are and in my mind I am not an alcoholic. As you put it nicely "I'm my own version" and I should get to pick that definition when explaining to others.
Last year it was apparent that I was a binge drinker and to me that was easier to try and overcome than making my self so associate with some of the negativity surrounding the word "alcoholism".
It's crazy because my mother, to this day, is a mess and I'm scared for her. Let me say that she is an amazing women who cares about her family and has a very good life. But I know if I were to approach her with the "A Word" it would take some repair to get back on her good side. I think by using my own personal definition, or niche so to say, would be easier to help her relate-- but this is another animal.
My point being your words helped me because it's ok to have your very own definition of what it is you are going through as long as you have identified the core issues. I think your support group with AA is helping you keep your personal definition intact even if it may seem like it's scarring some of the outsiders perspective. I think you are brave because I couldn't go.