Same here - my reward for a hard workout used to be rushing home for my cold beer and my cigarette. I've always eaten organically, worked out, meditated, yogaed, been outdoorsy - and between every single positive thing I did for my health, I would "take a break" and have a drink and a cig.
How crazy is that!
I realized that all of the effort I was putting into caring for my health or building my athletic capacity was simply working to counteract my alcohol and tobacco use. So I never really improved or grew athletically - I was just treading water.
The funny thing to me now when I think about it, is why filling my lungs with smoke and requiring my liver to process alcohol was "taking a break." Now I realize I was just burdening my body...
This is the primary reason that I quit entirely - for my health. Like fistymer, "I made that decision and it was perhaps the smartest thing I have ever done."
You'll find, if you spend some time reading these boards, that moderation hasn't worked for us. It might work for some, and obviously, they aren't here on these boards. But it hasn't worked for us. We are a million different shades of alcoholic, but after much experimenting (and you'll see that we tried and tried and tried methods of "moderating" so we didn't have to quit entirely), it just cycles back into overuse of alcohol, despair, and frustration. Believe it or not, it is FAR simpler to quit entirely. It just takes it off the table. You can move on.
This is possible. If you have the discipline to train as an athlete, then you have the internal strength to undertake this journey. The first days and weeks are challenging - physically and emotionally. I'm at six months now, and can tell you that I still have challenges and still occasionally want to drink, but my pride at having licked the problem and my curiosity as to my own capacity and potential growth have grown large enough to stop those cravings as they arise....