Joe Nerv

I don't know you so take this as just was it is. The opinion and experience of a sober alcoholic.

Yes. What you say is true. Unfortunately, for me and most people that I've known to recover from this, the alcoholic part easily encompasses and overshadows all those other things we are.

If you are indeed an alcoholic, and drank like I did, there's far more to the "disease" than simply putting the drink down. Putting the drink down for most alcoholics kicks the sickness into high gear. Without doing something very proactive to heal that, it only makes for a very resentful, angry, uncomfortable, unhappy person.

As someone else stated, it took me a year of recovery, meetings, therapy, group therapy, 12 steps, and whole bunch of other stuff, before I started to wake up a bit. I too was agoraphobic, full blown, and at a year sober still couldn't get more than 30 miles from my house without freaking out. It took me 2 years to be able to function "normally" in the world again. And then the gifts of sobriety started flowing in. I started to enjoy some peace of mind, and become a truly productive, giving, and loving person.

If early on I had done only the things I felt comfortable doing, none of that would have ever come. If I hadn't listened to others and done things that seemed to cut COMPLETELY AGAINST MY GRAIN, I wouldn't be sitting here typing this 30 sober year later. Of that I'm certain.

I see and hear so many people who want a different life for themselves, yet don't want to do anything differently. You say you're open to AA in the future, but not now? Does that mean you're open to doing something that might help you somewhere down the line, but not now? I get that, but anytime I ever said something like that I was BSing myself. I'm in fact doing it right now with a different not so life threatening issue in my life, going back to school. The only way I'm going to do it is if I do it, and I'm actually going to use this as motivation .

Alcoholism is a life or death thing. For me anyway. I knew that the day I got sober and I was fortunate enough to have a sponsor that reminded me regularly when I was feeling better, that that fact would never change. When sobriety is firmly in place for me, at the very top of my priority list, all else begins to fall into place. All else has a space in which it can heal.

AA doesn't have to be your solution. It's a solution I'm certain works, because it did for me and lots of others I know, but there are alternatives. I believe completely that it's crucial to find some sort of treatment. I heard someone say recently that she was an alcoholic. When she put the alcohol down all she was left with was the ic (ick). I think that sums it up wonderfully.

Sorry if this sounds harsh, I'm just putting out my honest opinion which is based on many years experience with this disease. You've got the first part, and congrats on the 2 months. Don't let the 2nd part of this disease get the better of you.

I'd seriously consider what your therapist is saying. I don't really see any reason not to. How could/or would that hurt you? If not then I'd move on immediately and find something else that WILL help you.