Thank you, Lenina, for your heartfelt words.
I did, however, get a good laugh from this part of your comments:
Originally Posted by
Lenina 
I was very annoyed at my therapist but not enraged. I never thought I had a life and death condition *at that time*, I came to learn I did. I had to suffer a bit more to fully appreciate I was gonna die if I continued on. I did stop as I said for a few years but that was only to keep from going to AA...
Imagine that! Someone getting sober in order to avoid AA!. It's a beautiful thing.