There are three traumatic times in my life, each I medicated with alcohol - each was a longer lasting horror over the prior. In my younger days, my folks were going through a pretty violent divorce proceeding. We aren't native to the States, and the laws that governed my parents was not US law. At one point, my father had sent soldiers with rifles to pick up my kid brother, while revoking my mother's right to travel (Not on US soil obviously) - I drank right through that stress. 9/11 was a horror beyond horrors, and what I saw, felt, fled from was inexplicable - I drank for years through that stress. My father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and I whimsically brought him $500 bottles of champagne proclaiming " the fat lady has sung" - drank through that stress for four years. Here is what I learned:
Alcohol didn't numb the pain, it exacerbated it. When in a drunken stooper, not only could I not shake the pain, I wallowed in it. It allowed me to create a mental moat around myself, and just harbor all the anger with no escape.
Alcohol affected my ability to support those in need - my family. I was useless to my mom's freedom, I was useless to my dad's care, and I was certainly no rock for either of my brothers.
Alcohol wedged itself between my wife and I. After 9/11, I was caught in mourning and terror. My wife was overwhelmed by all the negativity and pessimism. Instead of trying to follow her inherently positive personality, I polarized myself from her. I convinced my self she was insensitive and didn't understand. I convinced myself that my other cohorts at work were the only people who understood me. Of course they did, they were drinking like fish too, and they were breaking my marriage.
God interceded on my behalf each of these times, but I was but a passive participant. Now I have put down the bottle and actively look for his intercession. I'm not here to convert you, or tell you God is the only way. Rather, that if you think alcohol will help, it won't. In fact during real sorrowful/stressful times, I think it creates an exit proof room where all your fear and stress heightens. I'm also telling you, leverage your support. Your family is there for you, like you are for them (whether they drink or not - my wife drinks). Finally, whether God, SR, your neighbor, whatever, don't be afraid to ask for help. Who you ask, will listen and respond.