thank you for touching base winter. my thoughts and prayers are with you... please let us know how you are doing.
have you any face to face support? a friend or family member to lean on or have you considered alanon/naranon meetings or therapy? i ask because meetings and therapy have really helped me stay off the crazy train. it was here at SR that i learned just how much i had been neglecting my own well being by obsessing over my son. i find meetings helpful as sharing with family/friends isn't easy and not always helpful to me because if you haven't experienced this world it is almost impossible to understand.
self care was a new concept to me... i started slow - a hot bath, a good book, a new haircut, a solitary walk on the beach, meditation...
be kind to yourself today...