For my AH, his reactions to a "serious topic" are usually in this order:
1) He gets extremelly defensive and feels like he's completely at fault for whatever issue is being brought up. It doesn't matter if I'm telling him that I'm unhappy with my job, myself, etc, he tends to assume blame for everything even the things that aren't his. I find that I have to have ALOT of patience so that I can calmly get him to understand that he's NOT on trial!! Otherwise, the conversation at this point could escalate to an all-out brawl!!
2) Once I do get him calmed down and listening to what I'm saying, he tends to clam up and needs some time to thing things through. This part is critical. I HAVE to give him the time he needs, or else he gets really aggrevated.
3) Having said all that I need to, and then given him some time to think, I do have to go back and readdress it with him so that I can get the resolution that I need. Usually he'd like things to just go away, but that's not how I operate.
For me, I guess it all comes down to respecting each others style of communication. I like to address things head-on, get it out in the open and deal with it. He tends to take things really personally and needs time to deal with things on his own. So we compromise and find a happy middle ground that works for both of us.
I don't know if that helps or not... but it's what I thought of when I read your thread.
Shannon