Hi V. Im not sure, I'm still feeling very scattered. I've had many thoughts of drinking again - ways to get it, places to hide it. I'm trying hard to redirect my thinking to faith in sobriety. I've been crying and sleeping a lot, but I did join my husband for some errands and had a walk today, so that was good. I am very scared to go back to work, it sounds terribly overwhelming.
The big news is that my husband surprised me by hiring someone to clean the house every week. She is going to clean the kitchen and bathrooms, plus vacuum and dust the rest of the house. I am stunned.
I've been cleaning a lot myself. I keep noticing things that are dirty, so I clean them. I rearrange things so they are in different places. And I'm throwing a lot of stuff away. Everything reminds me of drinking, and I just want all of it gone.
The Ativan is helping a lot, it keeps me from panicking over stuff, but it seems when I relax I sure cry a lot.
So I don't know if I'm getting better. I don't really feel like I am. This is a very hard time.
How are you doing?