alaina,
it might help to take a breather and think of all the good things in your life.
sounds like you have a job. no, two jobs. okay. you're earning a living.
you have a house. wow. you can look at other houses you can afford. wow.
you can go to the gym. wow.
you have too much to be on social assistance. wow.
and you're depressed and trying to quit drinking.
these are two things you can do something about, get help with.
just as it says in your avatar: you can change how it's going to end.
you picked that avatar for a reason.