Just an update (x-posted)
I've posted here before re: my recovering heroin addict husband.
Well, I've finally gotten to the bottom of all his wonky & downright crappy behavior:
He had been trying to wean himself off Suboxone alone, and was self-medicating with alcohol/pot to MASSIVE excess.
This has caused me to look at things a completely different way. While NOTHING excuses his behavior (verbally abusive, refusing to or unable to help take care of our baby son, drinking too much regularly, etc etc etc), it does at least partially explain it. He says that he hates that he's dependent on Suboxone & doesn't want our son to grow up with a Daddy who needs to take medication.
We have discussed this at length & he will be reentering his Suboxone treatment program, which includes counseling, group therapy & regular dr's visits. I realise that Suboxone, to many, is just another drug that one remains dependent on, but in our case, it really worked for my husband & he is able to have as close to a "normal" life as possible while taking it.
Essentially, he was truly in withdrawals to the point of being physically ill but was too embarrassed & ashamed of it all to tell me so that I could help him. Now that I KNOW what's really going on, I am less likely to just chalk his behavior up to laziness, relapse and/or a lack of desire to help out.
Added to this, he had a MAJOR breakthrough last night & finally, after being up with our baby 2 nights in a row, said:
"Wow. I think I got like...3 hours of sleep last night. And the night before. NOW I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL."
This is HUGE. I work fulltime AND had been the only caregiver for our son for quite some time as well as trying to take care of my son.
This is also the first time, EVER, in our two-year relationship including marriage, that he has acknowledged how I must & do feel. About anything.
So, I don't know if I would say I'm "happy" per se. I'm not sure total happiness is even possible with an RA significant other. So I'm striving for better stability, contentment, communication and HOPE. For both of us but most of all for our son.