How many children do you have, Rosie? Are more than one of them struggling with addiction? Numb is sometimes completely understandable.
Since you are the parent, you pay the rent/mortgage, you get to decide the house rules. House rules are a different thing altogether than boundaries. House rules might include things like: they must either be in school or have a job while living with you. If they have a job, they must contribute to the expenses of running the house, buying groceries, etc. No drugs or drinking in the house, no being drunk or high while in the house....if you are drunk or high when you try to come home, please find someplace else to sleep because it will not be here.
Is this hard? Yep! Yes, very!! Felt like being a big meanie for us, but we had a right to not completely destroy our peace, our sanity, and our finances on the altar of someone else's addiction.
This doesn't come easy--none of it. It's awful. It's hard, and I HATE confrontation--I'm a big wuss. But we were finally motivated by sheer desperation and exhaustion, and a deep longing for peace.
You will find a path that works for you, Rosie! I have faith in you!
