Spalding - I agree with Lexie. None of that is abusive. That is how normal people talk. Even if you did make a mistake or butt in where you shouldn't it isn't the end of the world - and it sure isn't abuse.
Remember - feelings are not facts and that includes hers. If she feels abused because you commented on the need for towels that doesn't mean you are in fact abusive. It means your mother has issues - and we already know that. You can be patient and 'understanding' with her regarding her perceptions (and by that I just mean you don't have to argue or set her right - just accept that she's delusional) but you do not have to own her perceptions. Keep your feet firmly planted in reality. Right now you are still in a little fog so that is hard but the more space and clarity you get the easier that will become. You do not have to even go play in her delusional garden. When she says those things you have some options. Ideally you can get off the phone or find a reason to leave. If not you can just say "I see." or "OK" or you can do nothing but nod. The less said the better because there is NO WAY to come out on top with that kind of framework.
I read your thread more than I post but it is such an asset that you are so open to working through this stuff and getting clarification from outside sources. That kind of support is so important.