Dear INgal,
I've had a bad codie week, constant fear, worrying and "what iffing" and it's only Wednesday.
My 20 yr old is showing evidence of relaspe and should be in jail soon because
she never completed her community service hours for the crimes she did whilst
she was drugging it up.
I had to force myself off the couch to go to my F&F meeting last night, I mean really
had to make that effort to defrost my mind and body to go, and I'm glad I did.
There were about 12 mostly moms there, the first three were crying, all I could do
was go to hug them. I found out as we talked (our theme for the meeting was
on how to communicate with an addict") that their children had relapsed. These kids
are 19-23.
It helped me to know that I'm not alone and helpless in this. My mind defrosted
and I could think more clearly. And more clearly about what I'm going to do about
me. I can't stop a relaspe or the consequences of what addiction can do to the
person or the family affected. But I can stop myself from that endless circle of
worry, blame and guilt.
INgal, I'll be thinking of you today. A suspended drivers license is a temporary
thing, he'll get it back. And that might be a consequence from activity that
has a boundary.
My AD's jail time, I'm hoping will be short. It's her consequence. I will be fine
knowing that she is safe and not using ANYTHING in jail (I hope). Might be the
tune up or wake up call she needs.
Thinking of you and wishing the anxiety your son is having will be brief.
I stepped off that Codie bus yesterday, why don't you join me?
Take care
TF