Thank you all for your straightforward replies. Please know that I'm never hurt by them but am SO BEYOND thankful for having words spoken/written without any room for misunderstanding because I need blunt counsel when at times I simply get so clouded in my thinking that I can't see the sunshine through the rain.
My counselor was talking about how we need to accept that we can't change other people and that I can't keep saying to him, "You need help. Please get help." because essentially that will and has done nothing. - if that helps with understanding where she's coming from.
I have been to Al-Anon and yes, I see that I need to be going again since so many are advising it.
As for being scared of him, I'm scared of his reactions. Sometimes he's quiet when he hears something he doesn't want to hear and sometimes he just lashes out. He was screaming at the kids that they kept leaving the hallway light on and kept taking things away from them because they wouldn't keep it off. I was scared to approach him but I did and let him know that that was not healthy to be yelling about a light being on. I was scared because I never know what's going to happen.
He doesn't hit me but if his anger flares it's very intimidating and I work hard to speak up for the kids and myself in order to get him to ease off a bit.
I am so very thankful, so beyond thankful for the support on here. On hard days SR is one of the only things that keeps me grounded.