I am sorry for what you are feeling. I am right there with you. I started naranon and I feel like its ok. I don't share much but I feel it's safe. I also have two other children and agree they deserve a real life. It is consuming. I go one hour at a times. I grab my young 14 yr old and tell him road trip. I don't feel like it but I pretend we laugh. Walk around mall get ice cream. I leave the house that keeps me so isolated.
Please try a meeting. They help.