i'm sorry you're having a bad day sweetie. hang in there. through alanon i have learned to 'let go and let God' which is much better than giving up.....
try to stay in the moment, look around and find what's right in your world. be grateful for the good stuff. i am now able to look at my life separate from his issues and my life is pretty good. his life sucks but i'm not the one who has to live it. of course it hurts to see our children suffer, always has and always will. but i am learning to not let it consume me. it is his life after all.
this quote is on my fridge to help me turn things around - "make the most of the best and the least of the worst".
be kind to yourself today. what would you suggest to a friend to do to feel better? i am learning to be a friend to myself and find ways to comfort and support myself through these tough issues. a hot bath, a good book, bird watching, chocolate! also with support the load lightens. i love SR and alanon and also i do therapy. i'm amazed at how different i feel about life now that my focus is on making things right for me - the only person i can change. compared to the mess i was when i arrived here trying to fix my son.
hang in there.....