There's no way I'm going to say anything as insightful as what's a already been said. I'm not an ACoA. My father, however, is. In his nineties he's able to have insights into himself that he wasn't able to have as a younger man. But even still, if my mother were to tell him that she thought he had issues because of his alcoholic father.... well.... I can only imagine the firestorm that would erupt.
Not because she had said anything he disagreed with, but because it was her saying it.
Boy, howdy! That would be an argument for the books. She'd bring up his family, he'd counter with hers. Entire family trees would be defoliated in their scorched earth warfare tactics.
They've been married close to 65 years because they know what not to talk about.
Perhaps you're putting things in the wrong order. You want him to get help. Does he even think he has a problem? You however know that you have a problem. (With him.) What are you doing for yourself? I know you're coming here to SR. That's fantastic. Are you seeking any other sort of counseling? Alanon?
I suspect your energy would be better spent focusing on yourself. Sounds like he can't hear you right now anyway.