I didn't see my damage for a long, long, long time.
What damage I acknowledged I thought I had fixed/healed & then I promptly closed the door on all of it without realizing I really only understood about 1% of it all around. Many of my issues masqueraded as strengths too, so it was very difficult for me to view those traits in a different light.
My husband's addiction brought me to recovery, but my primary damage, my core changes that needed to be made, started decades before I ever met him when I was born to a father with a very active addiction.