Hoping for the best for you.
My life seemed (seems to be) the worst anyone could have. I am only on two days sober. I too have lost a baby. I want to try for another but know that I have damaged my body from alcohol. I live with another addict and it's exhausting every time he relapses. We have the worst fights. And plus, that's no way to raise a baby until we are both recovering.
But, I finally realized my drinking is only hurting me. Hurting my mind so I can't think clearly. Hurting my body so I can't conceive or will develop a serious condition from alcohol. Hurting my family by ignoring them only to get wasted. Hurting myself, over and over again.
Hope you find the strength to get thru this before April, March, or heck, even tomorrow.