Something I have learned about is the idea of chaos hunters. It's part of the cycle of codependency. When someone becomes used to being in a rollercoaster ride of a life, that's what becomes normal. That's what is reward and makes us feel useful.
So when we see someone who creates chaos, we say 'ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, maybe I can fix this.' or 'oooooh, I know this situation'. Not exactly consciously, but we get sucked in. We get the urge to fix or change or be part of it (even if we know we don't want to).
But basically we have to learn how to be ok without conflict in our lives. It often becomes so normalized that when things aren't crazy and conflictual we feel weird and uncomfortable. So it's an unlearning process.
Maybe? I dunno. Just my thoughts.