Old 02-06-2015, 12:13 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Rosalba
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 278
There's no way of knowing, right now, whether she'll change and stick to it. Any more than you can know what the view from the top of the mountain will be like when you've only just started to climb it. In a year's time, if she's maintained her sobriety and is serious about recovery then that's a good sign - but I have a very good friend who's a recovering alcoholic, and he talks about friends who've started drinking again after 12 years of sobriety, so even that's no guarantee.

You have no ties to this woman apart from emotional ones, and your feelings are based on your perception during the honeymoon stage of a relationship while she was drinking When people start to take their recovery seriously, the personality changes; the one who was the (alcohol fuelled) life and soul of the party can become withdrawn and socially anxious and so on - in short, the personality issues that alcohol 'protected' them from will come to the fore.

What I'm saying is that you don't really know who this woman is, sober. And if she doesn't get sober, you are all too aware of what she's like.

By the sound of it you are a free agent. In your position I'd be using that freedom to find a partner with a more stable personality.
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