I managed a day...then two days (sort of). I failed. It's gonna be at least a month again till I can get back in that zone. And before any of you judge me, I was there, and I was absolutely all for it.
I can't fight against stuff that happens that kicks me down when I'm finally at the place I needed to be for so long. I was finally there. I didn't want to feel how I do right now, and believe me, I'm so gutted. I was actually there. Now, I just don't see the point. It's such a waste of time when I can't see what sobriety would do for me when I don't have anything to look forward to anymore. This is not a pity post, and to make that pretty concrete, if anyone replies to this post, I will ignore it and won't reply back.
I'm just making a statement. So don't bother.