ch1

Started dating a girl about 2 years ago. Everything seemed pretty great, though I noticed at parties she would sometimes get very drunk very fast. I didn't think anything of it at the time, though it did start to annoy me after a certain time.

Then back in March I find out she got a DWI from a night back in February where she called me to pick her up on the side of the highway because she had ran out of gas. I couldn't find her and told her to call the cops, which she did. They dropped her off at my house at around 4 or 5 in the morning and didn't tell me anything about it. After I confronted her about it she decided to go home. Turns out on the way back to her house she got drunk and passed out in her car on the side of the road. I called her over and over because her texts made no sense and eventually a woman answered who said they were taking her to the hospital because she seemed "extremely intoxicated", which led to another DWI.

After that it all went downhill and became worse and worse. I'd show up at her house and find her passed out in her bed completely drunk, and then the next day she'll say she wasn't drunk and she can't believe I'd leave after driving all the way to see her. It's so bad now that I can't even tell when she's drunk or not when I talk to her on the phone. Met her at a friend's wedding and she completely gone. Things like that, over and over again.

I finally made the effort to truly end the relationship around mid December. I saw her a few times after that at holiday events and she was acting very odd. Weird inflections on her words and just sounding spacey. I thought maybe she was drinking enough to get drunk, but not blackout like she used to, though besides the weird way of talking she didn't SEEM drunk. So I finally told her we can't see each other and we needed to be done. A bit after this she told me she was going into an actual rehab program for an unknown period of time. I told her I was happy for her and I'd support her, but it didn't change us not being together.

Since then I've been hanging out with other girls and felt like I was moving on, since I'd really felt like I had given up back in the fall. Then she called me from her center last week and she sounded different. The weird tone in her voice was gone and she just sounded better. She talked for a bit about what she was doing at the clinic and said I could go visit that Saturday. I went to visit and saw her mom, but I guess she forgot to add me to the list (or didn't think I was coming) so I couldn't go in to see her. It really bothered me because I wanted to see if she seemed any better after a week and a half of sobriety.

Now I'm starting to have this hope that maybe she can get better and I don't want to even try to see anyone else. I guess that means I'm not truly moved on after all? Yet I know she won't be immediately better or if I'd want to try and restart our relationship again if she was, considering how much I wanted to move on in the first place.

I suppose I don't even have a question to ask, but now I feel so confused. I thought I was ready not to see her anymore. All I could think of was her constant lies, huge change in behavior and comprehension, and how much I wanted something better. Now I wonder if she could change and actually stick to it. Might be worth noting she has a daughter too, who is currently staying with my ex's mom while she is in rehab.