I only knew my ex-ABF for a short while before he stopped drinking and started going to AA. We didn't begin dating until he had been sober for 10 months. But. I have watched his personality change over the past 5 years until I was one of those whispering in meetings "sometimes I wish he would just drink". My reasons for going to Al-Anon were to try and figure out what in the world "they" had done to my guy!! After 16 months in Al-Anon, I realize "they" didn't do anything.
He left me 3 months ago and I am just now getting to the point where I can even consider that it was for the best. I visit this site often, although I don't post often. I am so interested in reading about people who have stopped drinking/using but haven't changed their behavior. There isn't much info out there about what happens AFTER sobriety. And even in Al-Anon, it doesn't seem that very many people experience what I went thru with him. I am so grateful for this site and the sharing.