Stung

Thank you and right back at you! I hope you keep updating us about what's going on with you too, Emmy!

There was no attacking and no posts were removed. When we make the choice to post on this forum about our lives we all decide to live in glass houses. If someone is going to repeatedly tell me what to do and then claim that I'm "bailing" on something or mock me because I like going to the beach then I consider that to be throwing a few stones into my yard. Really, it was the persistent nature of the behavior and using children as scapegoats triggers me something fierce (like it does to many other F&F members). I don't care how long someone wants to stay with their alcoholic spouse as long as they aren't trying to tell me how to fix my life when they can't even manage their own life. Other commenters jumped on JustBreathing earlier in this thread for doing the same thing. Hammer can dish it out and I know this isn't the first time that someone handed it right back to him.

Recovery is one size fits one. If someone doesn't like what I'm doing, what I'm about or my musings then I enthusiastically encourage them to click on another thread. There are many of other people on this forum looking for experience, strength, support and hope besides just little old me.

You nailed it! I've got a clinger. He was telling me today (he was here to watch our girls while I went to my meeting and met with my sponsor) that he wants our family to stay together because it's better for everyone, especially our kids. WRONG! If you want to be with me, then you want to be with me. Our kids can be raised perfectly healthy whether we're together or not (with his drinking is another subject but I'm trying to not mess with that nonsense anymore, I can't change it, I've tried). He's giving up his car in his latest attempt at sobriety and says that it's his single biggest trigger because it's the only place he drinks. Ugh. He says he has 13 days now. I don't want to be mean to him but I need to try really hard to not get sucked back into his freaking orbit.

So in an act of independence I bought myself some bakery goodies, a bubble bath bomb and a bottle of wine (I don't even remember the last time I bought myself a bottle of wine). He doesn't live here and will likely never live here again so I'm going to have some wine like an independent thinking and acting non-addict adult. This is what normies do. Act as if.