For most of my life, I looked for others to change to make me ok. Be more supportive, more caring, more attention to me. I finally got miserable enough to turn the mirror around and begin looking at myself. I couldn't do it alone. I needed help. I got help in a local Al-Anon group. Reading the literature, going to meetings, taking the suggestions started making a change in me. I was becoming whole, even though the people around me weren't changing. I began to heal, find serenity and confidence, and a new purpose and light in my life. As I changed, others around me adjusted. It wasn't always easy, but I stayed on my recovery track. Eventually, my relationships began to improve, and I felt love come up from the ruins of many years of resentment, fear, and depression.
Whatever recovery path you chose, whether Al-Anon, another group, or therapy, it is up to you to find your peace inside. That begins with taking the focus off the alcoholic and putting on learning what you can do to heal and grow.
I'm glad you joined us, and I hope you find this forum a useful tool in your own recovery. Hugs, Magic