I haven't done anything ambitious enough lately to possibly face rejection.
I too was always the guarded one in the past who never gave people the chance to reject me, I was always choosing to reject or not. I guess I was just too afraid to face rejection so I rarely ever put myself out there to be rejected.
It makes sense how your paper may not have been up to your potential considering the state you were in when you made it. I look back at some of the work I've done while on the merry go round of addiction and some of it has me saying "I can't believe I thought this was great stuff!"...