Originally Posted by
ShootingStar1 
The way you responded to the word "b..." when he said makes me wonder if you have PTSD. In other words, when one word used in a different context triggers you to relive a totally different experience with another person to the extent that you melt down, something like PTSD may be going on.
For me, having waited two and a half years after the end of my 20 year marriage to think about dating, has given me a lot of time to sort out who I am, how I contributed to the demise of my marriage, and who I want to be. I am much more healed and much healthier than I was, and that feels good. I'd suggest taking a lot more time before you get involved in dating and just focusing on making friends and sorting out what healthy relationships are about.
ShootingStar1
Yeah, I think it was definitely a PTSD-like reaction. Just hearing the word from a male voice seemed to trigger it immediately.
To be entirely honest, part of the reason I feel like I don't want to wait forever is that I worry about time running out to have the family I'd like to have. That may sound silly, but I'll be 34 soon. I'm not going to be able to have kids forever. On the other hand, rushing into getting serious isn't going to do anything for the possibility of a future with someone. Oh well. I have plans with friends tonight and a first date this weekend and I have to work tomorrow evening, so I won't see him for a few days. Space is good.