Just when you think you've healed
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,452
The way you responded to the word "b..." when he said makes me wonder if you have PTSD. In other words, when one word used in a different context triggers you to relive a totally different experience with another person to the extent that you melt down, something like PTSD may be going on.
For me, having waited two and a half years after the end of my 20 year marriage to think about dating, has given me a lot of time to sort out who I am, how I contributed to the demise of my marriage, and who I want to be. I am much more healed and much healthier than I was, and that feels good. I'd suggest taking a lot more time before you get involved in dating and just focusing on making friends and sorting out what healthy relationships are about.
ShootingStar1
For me, having waited two and a half years after the end of my 20 year marriage to think about dating, has given me a lot of time to sort out who I am, how I contributed to the demise of my marriage, and who I want to be. I am much more healed and much healthier than I was, and that feels good. I'd suggest taking a lot more time before you get involved in dating and just focusing on making friends and sorting out what healthy relationships are about.
ShootingStar1
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
I don't think the guy meant anything other than what he said - and in reference to doing the dishes was being funny.
What's clear is that you aren't ready to date yet. I believe anyone you date is going to receive the baggage from the last one because you have not had the time to work through it yourself. Bursting into tears should be your red flag to seek some help, or just let time heal the situation sometimes time is all you need.
I really do understand wanting to get back out and put the past behind you - and also enjoy some fun. Dating for many years has skipped the courtship phase and moves at such fast pace. The days of justing dating for social fun I don't think are around much anymore except in the 60 to 70 plus age range who are familiar with it. Nowadays by date 3 its a relationship LOL.
What's clear is that you aren't ready to date yet. I believe anyone you date is going to receive the baggage from the last one because you have not had the time to work through it yourself. Bursting into tears should be your red flag to seek some help, or just let time heal the situation sometimes time is all you need.
I really do understand wanting to get back out and put the past behind you - and also enjoy some fun. Dating for many years has skipped the courtship phase and moves at such fast pace. The days of justing dating for social fun I don't think are around much anymore except in the 60 to 70 plus age range who are familiar with it. Nowadays by date 3 its a relationship LOL.
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Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 62
Originally Posted by ShootingStar1 
The way you responded to the word "b..." when he said makes me wonder if you have PTSD. In other words, when one word used in a different context triggers you to relive a totally different experience with another person to the extent that you melt down, something like PTSD may be going on.
For me, having waited two and a half years after the end of my 20 year marriage to think about dating, has given me a lot of time to sort out who I am, how I contributed to the demise of my marriage, and who I want to be. I am much more healed and much healthier than I was, and that feels good. I'd suggest taking a lot more time before you get involved in dating and just focusing on making friends and sorting out what healthy relationships are about.
ShootingStar1
For me, having waited two and a half years after the end of my 20 year marriage to think about dating, has given me a lot of time to sort out who I am, how I contributed to the demise of my marriage, and who I want to be. I am much more healed and much healthier than I was, and that feels good. I'd suggest taking a lot more time before you get involved in dating and just focusing on making friends and sorting out what healthy relationships are about.
ShootingStar1
To be entirely honest, part of the reason I feel like I don't want to wait forever is that I worry about time running out to have the family I'd like to have. That may sound silly, but I'll be 34 soon. I'm not going to be able to have kids forever. On the other hand, rushing into getting serious isn't going to do anything for the possibility of a future with someone. Oh well. I have plans with friends tonight and a first date this weekend and I have to work tomorrow evening, so I won't see him for a few days. Space is good.
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