Hey Tod, my first instinct is to say back off a little bit. Don't smother her, but you don't have to accept unwarranted criticism or general nastiness from her either. We all respect someone who stands up for themselves when necessary and you shouldn't have to creep around on egg shells for no reason.
Make a plan to do constructive things for yourself, or the household, like a renovation or something positive, and just get on with it.
Hope this is on target. Without knowing the dynamics between you and your wife, it's hard to be specific.