Blue that was great advice! It looks like SVL can benefit from digging too. Lol you know I'm teasing you right SVL? I think if you can identify where those feelings are coming from and why going to meetings makes you relieved. I thought it might be that gong to them is a way to visibly observe him working on his recovery. Like...let's say I wanted my husband to loose weight...so observing him walking out of the house to go to the gym makes me feel comfortable that he's doing something that will help him lose weight. Even if I haven't seen him working out at the gym. So until I see him visibly loosing weight...that gives me comfort. Now once He actually starts loosing and I can see the difference....observing his going to the gym each day....means less than it did before. So maybe as time goes on and you can visibly see the changes that is your way of comforting yourself? Does that make sense?