Hey Jennifer. Welcome to SR! So many of us can relate. You've taken the first few steps that helped me the most - Codependency No More and Counseling. It's amazing how much better life gets when you take the focus off of your A and put it back on yourself.
My AH and I have been married about 2.5 years. I did not know he was an alcoholic when we got married and it took me the first 1.5 years of our marriage to figure it out (let's just say, I don't have a lot of experience with alcohol or people being drunk). Once I figured out that my AH was an alcoholic, I made him go to detox and then when he relapsed 8 days later, I made him go to a 28 day inpatient program...note all of the emphasis on "I". Suffice it to say, none of that got him sober. When he finally came to his own realization that he needed to get help (following a weekend where he flew out of town to meet up with a chick he met on a singles website - nothing sexual, just drinking - and came home to me changing the locks), he did. He wanted to make things work, blah, blah. A lot of the things that your AH seems to be saying to you. I told my AH that what he had to say no longer mattered (mostly b/c I had heard it all before) and that the only thing that mattered to me were his actions. He took the steps that he needed to take to get sober and it had nothing to do with me (though when I changed the locks and said I was done, he probably realized how much he stood to lose).
You're in a tough spot. Lots of us have been there. What worked for me was learning to recover from my codependency, setting healthy boundaries AND sticking to them, trusting my instincts (I'd forgotten how to do that!) and seeking God (my higher power) in all of this. Decide for yourself what you are willing to tolerate. For me, actions were the only thing that mattered. See what your AH is capable of - he may surprise you.