Wow, thank you for all of the quick responses, everyone. It's always nice to know that I'm not alone. Reading others' posts has already helped me feel better and a little more accepting of the idea of abstaining from alcohol completely. I really question whether any of this is worth it. Is it worth feeling the anxiety, crippling embarrassment, and extreme regret? Is it worth being hung over, vomiting stomach bile and not moving off the couch for the entirety of a day? That has been my situation today when I should have been doing productive, enjoyable things with my time, not wasting it by feeling ill and sorry for myself. I think I am stepping closer to changing my ways.