H Jamie, and welcome! I hate to point out the obvious, but you do know you will stop blacking out when you stop doing things that make you black out, right? You can't give one good reason to black out, can you? Sure it is what we all have done before, but damn if that makes it ok to continue.
If you stop, you WILL figure out a new life and ways to spend your time. If you don't stop, it only gets worse from here.
This is a great place to figure things out, we have all been either where you are at, or a damn sight close to it.