Welcome, Mavrick. I too share your feelings that AA is not right for me. I believe it works for many, but not for me. I have always had issues concerning the premise that I am hopeless against alcohol and I have a disease. IMHO, I am not helpless, I have the power to make the decision to not drink, and I do not have a disease called alcoholism...I am an addict. Plain and simple. Once I realized this, I began to feel empowered. I know that in order to break the addiction, I face the fact I am an addict, I realize alcohol has not nor will it ever provide any benefit to my mental or physical health, it does nothing to add to the quality of my life, it is a horrible waste of money, and I need to remove it with no remorse. I truly believe this and, after a relatively short but well determined sober 40 days, I have no desire whatsoever to drink another drop of liquor. I have passed the cloudy, rough days of initial withdrawals and have absolutely no urges to drink. No beast pleading with me to surrender, no pink clouds, no avoiding those who drink around me. I am simply and totally free. Why in the world would I want to change that with a worthless bottle of booze?
Stay free, my friend.