Cycles of good and bad happen to everyone. I truly believe that life is what you make of it ( vs predetermined or destined by karma, etc ). Rather than dwelling on the past, perhaps concentrate on the fact that you now have almost 2 weeks sober and a full sober day ahead of you to do anyting you want to. Also remember that you are very, very early into sobriety and it takes your body and mind time to recover. You are doing just fine..keep it up!