I'd like to echo Dee's comments. It is never too late to follow your dreams.
You are only 32. For many of us, life is only just beginning at that point. Though the societal norm would hint otherwise.... what we must do is lay aside our comparisons to others or to the benchmarks of expectation we've come to believe exist and ask simply; what is MY dream? What is MY vision?
Then hold that vision firmly and follow it.
I'm glad you're here and I'm glad you're putting your effort into resisting alcohol as the solution; for it is not. To me it sounds as if you could really use the support of a qualified counselor to begin helping you deal with your anxiety and self-esteem. I also think that AA might be a wonderful place for you. It might take some open-mindedness and it might take you being willing to give it a good, honest shot. Your description of yourself suggests you may see AA as being "not for you" because you may not see alcohol as being the central issue for you. But - from personal and direct experience with many of the same sort of feelings you are sharing, I can tell you that the program of AA is a tremendous tool in addressing those and shifting our perspective.
In any case, I hope that you are able to build yourself a plan and a system of support sufficient to give you strength to move forward. Life is abundant and wonderful - with opportunity for ALL of us. YOU CAN MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE.
You are clearly intelligent, capable, and caring about your self at least enough to recognize these issues and reach out for answers and help. That is enough to begin with.... if you can just nurture that with a little faith and action, every day, you will be astounded at what you will turn your life into.
Welcome.