Welcome Smilax.
I had social anxiety for a long time but it presented as defensiveness rather than internal angst, enabling me to at least function. Still walked out of many jobs though.
Wish I'd given up at your age, but I'm now 52.
I think posting on here is huge step for you, and I'm glad that you reached out.
If you stop drinking, things will become clearer after a while.
Drink only magnifies anxiety, and makes everything worse.
Good to have you with us.