It may be a matter of making a list and then seeing what should be at the top of the list.
You need to decide whether saving money (i.e. not paying a lawyer) is the top priority or getting the divorce done is the top priority.
I don't see anything that is going to get him to behave in a reasonable timely manner about this divorce.
First of all, he doesn't want to. For lots of reasons, probably, including that he doesn't want to give up his enabler, his enabled lifestyle, part with ANY money for real, ever, accept that he is an alcoholic, acknowledge that his actions have consequences such as divorce, and on and on.
Second, given his progressing alcoholism, he just may not be able to come to an agreement, especially one he is not motivated to seek.
In some circumstances, the cheapest way in the long term to getting something done is to do it the fastest way you can. Given the progression of his alcoholism, who knows how much longer he will keep that job? Losing his job would change the whole financial settlement profoundly.
I'd still say just hire the lawyer and don't try to save pennies just to lose the fortune.
As to not getting a job now, those two lawyers make sense. You'll get a better financial settlement if you do not have a job before you divorce. So get what you can ASAP and upfront while he is still working, and be free.
You're sliding back into living in his crazy world and seeing through his lens. The point of this is not to deal with him - and a mediator will require that - it is getting this divorce done.
ShootingStar1