Hmm...here is my 2 cents, for what ever its worth...Just like you can't control your ABIL, you can't control your husband and his enabling either. It's a bit of a pickle. You're right, no one should enable him if they want him to ever hope to clean up.
It sounds like you need to have a talk with your husband. Maybe see if he is willing to attend alanon with you. If he isn't willing to do that, perhaps go on your own so you can get a better handle on your own feelings and what to do with them.
I'll be praying for you. It has to be a real tough spot to be in. Hugs