thanks for the comments. I am trying to get him to see how I want the best for my BIL but I only get the treatment that I am the one overreacting. I want my BIL to be a productive member of society, find a girlfriend, get married, enjoy life, get a job, have friends, etc. I believe until he hits bottom and learns it is him not everyone else then he will see the need to change. He is entering rehab next week with the idea of no rent, food, bills for 3 months to get out of the money situation he is in. honestly he doesn't see it is an alcohol problem so I am hoping they will see his reasoning and help him discover the real issue and he needs help. Anytime I discuss anything, my husband feels sorry for his brother (only family member left) and being the older brother he wants to care for him. He says the right things. he knows he shouldn't enable, etc. but then he does it.