Smilax, welcome! I'm sorry that things have been so tough lately. I hope you realize that pouring that wine out was indeed a huge victory! Give yourself a pat on the back. Don't think about whether you might drink tomorrow... Focus on today. And everyday, remember, is one day at a time. Trying to think of "not drinking forever" or "never drinking again" creates anxiety for me but when I consider that it really is one day at a time, things seem more manageable.
So glad you're here, keep posting!