I give you a AAAAAAA++++++++++. Great job. I know that when we are angry, oftentimes very justifiably so, it is easy to forget the golden rule "Do unto others as we would have done unto ourselves." Sounds like you followed that rule and had I been the recipient of that letter would have found it clear, concise, and to the point. It sounded loving, not accusatory, and you stood your ground without turning it into a war zone. If I were her I think your boundary would be crystal clear. Sometime ago I attended a meeting where there was a gent who had been sober for quite some time. He found himself secretly drinking a beer here and there, had received a boundary, and had come to the meeting to get back on track before things got out of hand. I think kind, clear, concise boundaries that are stated directly, in love can be remarkably effective. One cannot know what the future holds but I wish you and yours PEACE.
-Cookies