Originally Posted by
SparkleKitty 
HMA, great, thoughtful response. Thank you.
To be clear, my issue is with how this article will, can, and has triggered some loved ones of addicts into feeling tremendous guilt for imagined failures. I saw this shared on no less than five feeds last night, with messages tacked on in the vein of "I guess I should have done more for the addicts in my life, perhaps they'd be alive today." My fingers were practically bleeding from typing and re-typing, "Please don't do this to yourself."
On the flip side I also saw it posted with the remark "Drug addicts are selfish: Wrong," which triggered me terribly as well since, in the same way that SOME people are selfish, SOME drug addicts ARE selfish and shouldn't be given a pass based on the non-science of this HuffPo piece.
Awe... thanx SparkleKitty! I totally agree with you that we should not be carrying such heavy guilt with what we did or did not do. Love is a choice, and it doesn't exist between two people unless both people share it. The relationships we hold and everything we do in the those relationships go both ways. My actions affect myself and my partner, and vice versa. When the other side is not being honored, we can honor it ourselves all we want, but it will be to no avail unless our partner also chooses it. It is the same for addiction. There is no fault in trying to help, but don't lose yourself and know your limits and boundaries... NOT knowing these are part of what makes us codies. And there is no fault in leaving the situation if it is volatile because self preservation is necessary for survival, let alone the ability to help. Self love... Love of the higher power... being able to let those into your life, imo, is the real challenge of these addictions and of our codependencies. Love is great, if you let it in ;-) And no amount of here, take this and that will change anyone if they cannot even see what is being offered and thus, unable to accept it.