Saw This On FaceBook

Old 01-22-2015, 12:14 AM
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Saw This On FaceBook

The Likely Cause of Addiction Has Been Discovered, and It Is Not What You ThinkÂ*|Â*Johann Hari

It is totally messing with my co-dependent brain. I mean it's okay to read this article and still stay no contact right? I feel like I did everything I could to help give my ex a better life and I also did my best to be connected to him. If no contact makes him sink deeper into addiction that is his decision and there is nothing I can do to prevent that. Right?
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Old 01-22-2015, 12:41 AM
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I read the same article earlier today. I thought it was interesting until the last two paragraphs. Then I got MAD!

It triggered me badly.
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Old 01-22-2015, 12:54 AM
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Me too!! It's not easy to go no contact but I firmly believe no contact is about and for me, not my ex. I don't know how to put into words how angry I am about this article. I Feel guilty enough on my own for abandoning my ex to his addiction. I feel like this article is trying to tell me I wasn't good enough to save my addict and also that the addict free from addiction is more important than me free from the drama and the pain.
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Old 01-22-2015, 01:13 AM
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The premise seems good, I suppose. Drugs are an escape, that's not a surprise to any of us. Lots of addicts had traumatised lives. Also not a surprise. But the author jumps then to the solution that one person showing a bit of love is all it takes. That's a logical fallacy. No one of us can save them. They have to choose to engage with the world for themselves. The difference is we aren't in separate cages. We are all in the same cage but have to go find the good stuff. Its harder to do if you can't or haven't yet seen it. But surely an addict has to be ready to accept and give love, to choose to be productive. Isn't that what recovery is? Making and acting on that choice?

So I quite liked the article, just her conclusion was rather weak and not based on her own facts
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Old 01-22-2015, 04:35 AM
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With very few exceptions, rats are not human beings.

While I am an advocate of finding compassion when one is ready, this article's oversimplification could easily trigger those recovering from codependency into taking blame for an addict's choices. As a way to reconsider national and global drug policies, I find some merit in it. On a personal level, I know from my experience with actual human addicts, that it's more dangerous than helpful to those struggling with an addicted loved one right now.
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Old 01-22-2015, 05:01 AM
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I'm not sure human connection or lack of is the cause of addiction/alcholism, but for me, once I was able to put the bottle down, it certainly is part of my solution. There is a process of change to go through before this can happen. While in my alcoholism, this was not an option......not yet.

Keep no contact. It saves us.

former wife of an alcoholic, currently in recovery for my own alcoholism...also an ACOA....Triple Winner here
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Old 01-22-2015, 05:03 AM
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Originally Posted by davenport View Post
The Likely Cause of Addiction Has Been Discovered, and It Is Not What You ThinkÂ*|Â*Johann Hari

It is totally messing with my co-dependent brain. I mean it's okay to read this article and still stay no contact right? I feel like I did everything I could to help give my ex a better life and I also did my best to be connected to him. If no contact makes him sink deeper into addiction that is his decision and there is nothing I can do to prevent that. Right?
Right. Don't feel bad one moment. If our love could heal an addict there would be no addicts.

I think this article has some merits and it is making me think but it definitely has some flaws.

Besides who says 'you' have to be the one he connects with? My son is the one who has the problem and I sometimes think we are too close to help him maybe. I would welcome someone else connecting with him and showing him the light if that is even possible.

Who knows? But one thing I do know is that I wouldn't worry about one article in the grand scheme of things. I won't dismiss it either but just go with my gut. My gut says that you shouldn't stay with someone who makes your life hard. You deserve to be happy.

Kari
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Old 01-22-2015, 05:46 AM
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Weird how it winds up with her wiping the brow of her withdrawing xBF... Kind of creepy. What qualifies her to have him trembling on her spare bed? She falls right back into the trap that her caring for him can save him. And she doesn't report that he reconnects to society and remains clean or at least fairly clean in this excerpt. I guess we should BUY the book to see if she manages to love her family of addicts clean.

I think the wider point of 'it takes a village' is a salient point of the article.

Not worth getting your underwear in a bunch though.
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Old 01-22-2015, 06:39 AM
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Thanks everybody for your kind and thoughtful responses. I really appreciate it.
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Old 01-22-2015, 06:42 AM
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This feels like junk science. Quackery.

Not everyone who uses drugs is an addict. To me, these folks who can use then lay it down fall into the "just need a good life" bracket. However, the science done by addiction researchers on humans (not by social engineers on rats) shows significant changes in brain chemistry between addicts and non-addicts that no amount of public art and hugs and rainbows can cure. They are more compulsive, more emotionally disregulated, and are attracted to chaos in ways that non-addicts aren't, frequently showing this behavior before and after the height of the drug abuse, through childhood even.

Having meaningful work, a good life to come home to, and a reason to live is great for all people, drugs aside, but WE ALL HAVE SEEN people with nice homes, good kids, caring spouses, good jobs, nice cars, in safe neighborhoods, completely tear apart their lives due to drug and alcohol addiction. No amount of love and care can cure someone who prefers dope to safety, restfulness and security. This article seems to rest on a stereotype of drugs -- Vietnam vets, inner city ghettos -- and ignores that addiction happens in all walks of life to all kinds of people.
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Old 01-22-2015, 06:46 AM
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Take what you want and leave the rest...IMO
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Old 01-22-2015, 06:47 AM
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After reading your responses so far, I am not even going to look at that article.
My mate's addiction came to full flower while I was still there, being obedient and placating.
You folks have told me all I need to know about the article.
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Old 01-22-2015, 07:13 AM
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The problem as I see it is that one size does not fit all. Many articles have been written about how "I have found the cure for addiction" and go on to list what they have done and how it worked out. Yet when you just take a read through these boards--through all the stories written by the struggling and recovering addicts--you will see that while there are many commonalities, their paths to recovery can vary a lot.

I wish that our love could cure my stepson, my aunt, my grandparents, my sister, and now after talking to my mother last night....yet another cousin who OD'd on alcohol and Xanax. I will always love them and always pray for them and always encourage them to do the next right thing.

But my love for them is not their cure...oh how I wish that weren't true.
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Old 01-22-2015, 07:36 AM
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This, my friends, is science.

20% of Vietnam War soldiers were addicted to heroin, 95% stopped using when they came home. If "a more pleasant cage" was the reason for people to stop using, then 100% would have stopped using -- because no matter how crappy your life in the US may be, it's still a whole lot better than being in the swamps of Vietnam.

Also -- the "sad" and "lonely" rats chose the heroin bottle while the "happy" rats didn't. Did anyone consider WHY some rats were sad and lonely to start with? Was there maybe a genetic predisposition to be sad/lonely/prone to addiction/aggressive/happy/etc?

Did you notice that the research quoted is also largely over 30 years old?

I follow quite a bit of current neuroscience research, and what seems to be coming out of that is that just as some people are born with a latent physiological tendency for getting eating disorders, depression, or schizophrenia, addiction is probably something similar. YES, a disease. Imagine.

There's research that seems to point to some mental disorders having connections with autoimmune disorders, but I haven't seen any clear research that explains how yet.

Also, as Seren points out, there are innumerable examples of people who have perfectly good lives and still become addicts.
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Old 01-22-2015, 07:40 AM
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I read this article too this morning and started crying half way through thinking "if only I was more loving and supportive he wouldn't have left me."
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Old 01-22-2015, 07:48 AM
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This is bs. I'm surprised HuffPo even published it, to be honest. So we're supposed to put up with someone's abuse because they've had a hard life and turned to drugs and drinking? Poor frigging babies. There are lots of people who have had horrible lives, and they are not addicts. There are tons of people who have had everything handed to them on a silver platter, and they are.
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Old 01-22-2015, 07:49 AM
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I read this article too this morning and started crying half way through thinking "if only I was more loving and supportive he wouldn't have left me."
And THAT is why garbage like this should be commented on and countered. You can no more love a person out of addiction than you can love them out of a broken leg or pancreatic cancer. If LOVE was the issue, friends, none of us would be here. SR wouldn't be here.
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Old 01-22-2015, 07:52 AM
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So check out these comments on the article:

Addicts create their own cages, mental cages., and real cages even. If you put an addict into a nice environment, he will destroy it. ..they seem to be unaware they are doing it, they just automatically destroy until their real world matches whatever mental impression they have of the world
This is dangerous anecdotal quackery of the worst kind.
Science does not support this, and there have been plenty of cases of people with 'good lives' and 'human connections' who have fallen prey to addictions.

Shame on you for writing this rubbish, and shame on HuffPo for giving light to it.
All this is is an article pushing Bruce Alexander's "Rat Park" claims. There's a reason why his studies were rejected for publication by both Science and Nature and he eventually published it in the Psychopharmacology journal, which is largely considered to be pseudoscientific crap.

There were a number of flaws with his studies and he was not backed up by later experimentation, no matter what he and his little group of people continually claim. They're just like any other pseudoscience group, pushing the handful of crap studies they have against the overall scientific consensus.
Feel better now?
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Old 01-22-2015, 07:59 AM
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Very few people come here who have not been beside the addict in their life for many years. I know I showed love, showed acceptance, showed many things. He had a nice home, extra income, a nice job, nice kids, nice car, so his "cage" was a nice one. However, he is still an addict.

In my opinion, we are already "decriminalizing" drug use. In big cities with rampant H use for example, they are not even arresting users who are right on the street. They are only arresting the dealers. This is because the system does not have the funds put in place to have housing, treatment, etc for the current users. It's an evil cycle. Arrest, back on the street, arrest....it goes on and on. I do think there is something to say to invest those funds into rehabbing the users instead of trying to police them, which is not working.

I also don't think this accounts for people who simply have an addictive personality. My X is like this. He goes through spurts that he is addicted to doing certain art, to collecting certain things, the list goes on. Anything he can really grab ahold of. He has had extensive counseling in his life. It has never changed, it's just his addictive personality.

Thing is, you lose yourself in the addict. For myself, I almost had a nervous breakdown. At what point is the focus put on me and how unhealthy that is for me and my children.

We cannot love them into sobriety or we would have done it a million times over. They have to be able to participate in their own recovery or they just don't recover.

Just my .02
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Old 01-22-2015, 08:12 AM
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Originally Posted by Eauchiche View Post
After reading your responses so far, I am not even going to look at that article.
My mate's addiction came to full flower while I was still there, being obedient and placating.
You folks have told me all I need to know about the article.
Agree.... I totally trust the opinions of those that have posted in this thread. for saving me the time!
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