"...addiction is an adaptation. It's not you. It's your cage."
While I fully support all of us here, I am going to play the devil's advocate, because I think it is important. First, the article did not say that our "cage" was our environment. It said that addiction is an adaption, and that that is not you; the addictive adaption is the cage, NOT the environment. So, it is not the beautiful home, family, job, or what have you that this article is referencing. Which is why it seems to us, reading this, that WE have shared wonderful "rat-parks" with our A's, and yet, it didn't seem to foster anything good. Because the environment was NOT the cage, in fact, the cage exists within the addict. Their mannerisms, the socialization, their cultural expectancies, their thoughts and feelings... all point towards addiction, and THAT is the cage. The article continues to argue that it is NOT the chemical that has caused this, rather it is a lack of "love" and "acceptance" that brought the addict to adapt these types of patterns and reach for drugs or alcohol, or even gambling... sex? shopping...? food?
Recap: The cage lives inside the addict because of how he/she has internalized their experiences within his/her environment.
Personally, I completely agree with this. What is good for the goose is not always good for the gander. We are all so unique, so when one rich spoiled brat turns out to be a drug user and an abused child grows up to be passionate instead of an alcoholic, we can see that generalizing is not going to give us a blanket answer. So, what is the anecdote then?
It is individual treatment, getting to the bottom of what caused this person to adapt in such a manner that they felt the need to self medicate or reach for a substance or behavior that seems to gratify a longing for a different life, which of course, does nothing but to cover it up and often becomes a downward spiral of self perpetuating prophecies... kinda like us codies, eh? Well, I can see that at least.
"....human beings have a deep need to bond and form connections. It's how we get our satisfaction. If we can't connect with each other, we will connect with anything we can find..." THIS. This I can completely agree with. I carry education as a preschool teacher and have a BA in child and family development, so my brain's data base was going crazy as I read this. I thought of how when we are infants, we go through stages of development and one of the most crucial is attachment. Basically, there is secure attachment, where the infant feels that he/she can come to rely on his/her main caregiver, and then there is insecure attachment, where you can guess, that the infant found he/she could not rely on the main caretaker. Several factors come into play, such as changing of wet diapers, feeding when hungry, the amount of time the baby gets to bond with caregivers, breast feeding, having a routine, being able to rely on having the SAME caregivers everyday (so moving or changing child care often plays a huge roll). IF THIS STAGE IS NOT SECURE, it scaffolds into the next stage of development and hinders the growth of the next stage. And so on and so on...
Another thought this brought to mind is how our American culture is individualistic, whereas other cultures are collectivist societies. The major difference is that here in America we promote Individualism, where a collectivist society, such as Portugal, promote the group, or the community, or the family. In those types of societies, it is important to put one's family above yourself. There is no room for selfishness, and likewise, when an individual within a group needs help, it is the responsibility to help that individual, collectively. Here in America, we expect each person to carry their own weight and even blame individuals and shame each other for not being able to do things on their own. We stop nursing at 1 or 2 years of age, when in other cultures it is completely normal to nurse up to 5 years old. We encourage personal achievement and competition. We look to each other to see what the Joneses are doing because we compare others' accomplishments and lifestyles to our own successes and abilities... And we top that off with a Hollywood mentality that says more is better, the bigger the better, plastic boobs, beer, stay thin and do anything to be thin, win or else you are a loser, more money will make you happy.... and we encourage all of this through our relentless freedom of press fueled media that has every false image imaginable. Not to mention the big pharma and the internet and other "technologies" that keep us lacking in real human contact, but keep us more cut off from each other than ever... Our over-worked, under-paid, no family time lives where we are all running after the ever-elusive golden carrot....
Yeah... I can totally see why this article makes complete sense. We DO need a total overhaul in how we treat addicts, among other things.... And the point is not that you or I can "save" these people... Because as individuals, we cannot GIVE enough to do anything, because we have limits and we are not God and it will mostly just bring us into their holes... And for those that have entire family units and groups of friends trying to pry these people out of their darkness, I don't even think that is the real answer. Because unless someone wants help, they won't even hear our cry to want to help, because that person is lost in their delusions of separateness. But the article makes a great point that it isn't so much the chemical in the brain that is causing the issue, but rather, it is a set of thought patterns that brought this person to addiction in the first place, and now the substance is exacerbating the issue.
Honestly, I can see how the approach of love and community will help millions. I believe it. I don't believe I can do it on my own, and I am okay knowing that I can only help if my xabf is willing to get help. And instead of being angry with this article, I am sort of relieved at knowing that my need and want to help is NOT bad. It is human nature to reach out to one another... I feel good about that. You just can't help someone who doesn't want help, and THAT is what needs to be reconciled in our minds. That their empty promises are not action, and it is okay to take care of yourself or you won't be any good to anyone anyway.
How do you help an addict? I guess it depends on what the hell is going on underneath their motivation to think and act the way they do... And what it will take to break that negative thought pattern will be highly individualized.
I know that my other ex, who was a meth addict, finally got clean, but he is still an angry abusive jerk... because he has yet to deal with his issues that take over his mind... And, I know that as long as I don't take care of my own issues in my mind, I will continue to find myself in these types of relationships...
Ugh, sorry for the very long response, but I could go on and on about this... I found too many holes in the argument against this article. I am all for it.
gambling addicts...