emily - you are my friend too and i really mean that - even tho you don't live down the road. there are friends and there are acquaintences. just because your ah is the life of the party and willing to lend a hand, hmm...maybe that's his way of being accepted, boosting his self esteem?
i just think you need to reach out as you have here and you will begin to form some relationships. is there anyone at work or al-anon meetings that you think you might want to strike up a friendship with? i don't have many close friends, but i don't think quantity counts when it comes to friends - quality is definitely the name of the game.